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Home Blog What is a Divorce Hangover and How Do I Avoid One


What is a Divorce Hangover and How Do I Avoid One?


Truth be told, I don’t drink, so I have never had a hangover. I had plenty of friends in high school and college who had them. From my perspective, it always seemed to me that having a hangover was a mighty steep price to pay for an evening of “fun” that you couldn’t even remember the next day. What my friends could remember was the pain and headaches and misery that accompanied their hangover. Frankly, the hangover usually made my friends miserable to be around until after they got over it.

As a family law lawyer in Mesa, I have seen many people suffer from post-divorce hangovers. And, just like my friends who were unpleasant to be around while they were experiencing their drinking hangovers, people with divorce hangovers are unhappy and sometimes difficult to be around. This often extreme unpleasantness can result in unfortunate effects on other family members, particularly children who are often the biggest victims in divorces, as well as other family and friends who are really looking to offer support.

I think the best description of a divorce hangover is found in an article entitled “Taming the Divorce Hangover”. Here, the author talks about the pain and emotion, including anger that often accompanies a divorce. There is no shame in having those types of feelings. Divorce is difficult. It is, in reality, a death of sorts; the death of your marriage. For some people the death of their “happily ever after.” However, when those feelings of pain and anger are allowed to keep going on and on and don’t seem to subside, you are probably experiencing a divorce hangover.

There are numerous problems that can arise from a divorce hangover. One of the big problems I see is that some people just cannot let go. The anger and pain they feel is targeted toward their ex-spouse. In many cases, it is very understandable. But this unchecked, untreated anger leads to bigger problems. In my experience, the anger can lead to things such as a belligerent refusal to pay support (“I’m not giving that evil person my money”), refusal to cooperate with decisions regarding children, finding any reason to haul the ex-spouse back into court, damaged relationships with children and other family members and the list goes on. In some horrible extreme cases, violence occurs.

So how do you deal with a divorce hangover? That’s a difficult question to answer. I am a lawyer, not a counselor, so I’m not in the habit of giving that type of advice. However, counseling may be the very place to start. For many people, the hangover is occurring because they just can’t let go and move forward. As a family law attorney in Gilbert the cases, I have dealt with involve people who I consider to be suffering from divorce hangovers, in most instances, the person with the hangover simply cannot let go and wants the ex-spouse to continue paying the price for what he or she perceives the ex-spouse has done to him or her. Of course, letting go and moving forward is easier said than done. Those who find a way to do this are able to have happier and healthier futures. Those who don’t wind up going back to court over and over and over. This results in more misery, more anger, and more legal expenses.

The author in the article referenced above provides some good ideas for recognizing and dealing with anger issues, which I recommend for your review and consideration. I believe the first step in overcoming any divorce hangover is to make a commitment to yourself to allow yourself to heal and move forward. Time heals all wounds if you allow it to do so. Like an alcohol hangover, the best remedy is time. After a while, the sickness, nausea, and headaches pass, and life is good again. A divorce does not have to result in long-term suffering. Be proactive in allowing yourself to move on as reasonably quickly as you can. Get professional help if necessary, there is no shame in doing so. The result of avoiding a divorce hangover is a healthier relationship with your ex (which really is a must if you have children together) and a healthier relationship with others in the future.


Our team of family law attorneys and divorce attorneys look forward to helping you when you need it most. With over two decades of aggressive divorce, child custody, child support, and divorce mediation representation we will not allow you to be taken advantage of. We believe in making a difference in the lives of our clients and their children.


Mesa, AZ – Office

Located in Mesa Arizona, on Val Vista and Southern Avenue. Our Family Law Attorneys and Divorce Lawyers in Mesa AZ have been helping our clients achieve the legal results they are searching for. Our Mesa Law Firm offers Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Mesa AZ
3740 E. Southern Ave Suite 210
Mesa, AZ 85206
(480) 999-2321
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/mesa

Chandler, AZ – Office

Located On Dobson Road, just North of W. Chandler Blvd, near the 101 Freeway. We have a team of the Best Divorce Lawyers and Family Law Attorneys in Chandler Arizona. Our Chandler Law Firm offers Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Chandler AZ
333 N. Dobson Rd #5
Chandler, AZ 85224
(480) 632-2083
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/chandler

Gilbert, AZ – Office

Located in South East Gilbert, Near Higley High School on Pecos Road, West of Power Road in the Power Ranch Neighborhood. Our Gilbert Law Firm offers Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Gilbert AZ
4365 E. Pecos Rd Suite 138
Gilbert, AZ 85295
(480) 900-2302
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/gilbert

Florence, AZ – Office

Located in the Community of Anthem in Florence Arizona, off of Hunt Hwy. Our Florence Law Firm is staffed with family law attorneys that offer Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Florence AZ
3281 N. Hunt Hwy Suite 111
Florence, AZ 85132
(480) 632-1120
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/florence

Glendale, AZ – Office

Located in Glendale Arizona, off of Hunt Hwy. Our Florence Law Firm is staffed with family law attorneys that offer Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Glendale AZ
7075 West Bell Road Suite 5
Glendale, AZ 85308
(602) 834-8585
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/glendale/




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Jensen Family Law in Mesa is located on 3740 E Southern Ave Suite 210, 85206 Mesa, Arizona. From Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport (PHX), Take S 41st St to E Sky Harbor Blvd, then head west on E Sky Harbor Blvd and Use the left lane to take the exit toward S 41st St. Then Turn right onto S 41st St. After that, Continue straight to stay on S 41st St, then Take AZ-202 Loop E, AZ-101 Loop S and US-60 E to S Val Vista Dr in Mesa. Take exit 184 from US-60 E after that Merge onto E Sky Harbor Blvd, then Use the left 2 lanes to merge onto AZ-202 Loop E toward Tempe/Mesa and Use the right 3 lanes to take exit 9 to merge onto AZ-101 Loop S. After that, Use the right 2 lanes to take exit 55A-B to merge onto US-60 E toward Globe, then Take exit 184 for Val Vista Dr. Then Continue on S Val Vista Dr to your destination and Turn left onto S Val Vista Dr. Turn right onto E Southern Ave, then turn left and Destination will be on the right.

We’re open 9 AM – 5 PM Monday – Friday and we are closed on Saturday and Sunday.

For additional questions you can call us at (480) 999-2321 or you can find us on Yelp.