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Tips For Sharing Child Custody After A Divorce

Raising children with an ex-spouse often needs some extreme patience. Most individuals co-
parenting with exes know that shared custody and the transition from one home to another
can be difficult for kids, and both parties have to get along. You don’t have to be friends after a
divorce, but you’ll need to become a collaborative team to raise your kids for their
psychological and emotional development. However, this is easier said than done. You can
consult with a family law attorney at Mesa to help you create a co-parenting plan or share
legal advice on your case situation. This article will also provide you with insight into how co-
parenting can be made more accessible.

The Basics Of Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is a child-centered decision that involves parents who are not coupled to work
together to help their children thrive. To co-parent effectively, parents need to keep their
messy breakup aside and embrace a working co-parenting style that involves being nice to each
other despite the hatred they bear for each other and even being in places they may not want
to be. Basically, in a co-parenting relationship, you will need to love your kids more than you
hate your spouse and realize that they need both their parent’s attention to thrive.

How To Be A Good Co-Parent

The first step towards a co-parenting relationship is to heal yourself. If you have not moved on
from the past, you will likely reflect the divorce’s hurt to your children. Even the most minor
decisions about your kid’s lives may be hard to tackle when you’re still carrying grudges from
the divorce. It is advisable to self-reflect and discovers your role as a parent in the ended
relationship. It is easier to co-parent with intention when you’ve had closure and are happier.

What Happens When Your Child Won’t Go To Your Ex-Spouses House?

Co-parenting can be difficult, especially when a child takes sides. In some cases, children might
refuse to visit the other parent despite the custody orders. This could be related to several
reasons like:

  • A parents failure to be actively involved with the child’s life during their time together
  • Anxiety about separation from the parent who majorly takes care of them
  • Open conflicts usually caused a child to be temporarily aligned with one side.
  • In cases of child abuse

No matter the reason, if your kid doesn’t want to move to be with their other parent, you need
to remember your job as a divorced parent, which involves supporting your child’s relationship
with your ex. No matter the strenuous relation you have with your former partner, your
children have the right to love both parents. Your kid’s failure to bond with one parent may
influence their capacity to grow healthy relationships with others. Therefore you shouldn’t
encourage their refusal to spend time with your former spouse. You can, however, solve the
problem in the following ways:

1. Evaluate your child’s resistance

For better understanding, you’ll need to explore the reasons behind their resistance to go to
their other parent’s place. Ask your child to list their reasons and analyze the reasons. For
instance, if your kid mentions that the other parent is too strict, try to find out what they mean
by “too strict” and encourage them to abide by your ex’s house rules. You may also opt to
impose some of the rules for consistency purposes. If the reasons given by your child are
serious and concerning, you may opt to hold a discussion with your ex in a non-blaming manner
to keep the peace.

2. Talk To Your Ex

Before you can make conclusions, you can consult your ex to listen to their perspective to
discover what your kids may have conveniently omitted. Kids often manipulate parents to have
their way, and it is crucial to uncover the whole story and not only your kid’s colorful version.

3. Look Into Your Behavior

Sometimes, as a parent, you may subconsciously bleed your negative feelings towards your ex
over into your children. Kids study behaviors and moods and sometimes feel the need to act
towards their happiness. Therefore, it is advisable not to showcase anxiety or hostile behavior
towards your ex in front of your kids. Instead, own your problems and encourage your kids to
spend time with their other parent.

4. Don’t Force Them To Go

Knowing the importance of kids spending time with both of their parents, you need to find
innovative ways to help them accept co-parenting. Forcing them to comply with the legal
arrangements will only increase anxiety and cause more resistance. You can help them
understand how the set visitation schedule is good for them, rather than telling them that they
have no choice but to follow the custody order.

5. Empower Your Child

Your kids need to learn how to solve their problems with your ex without running to you. You
can encourage them and teach them ways to speak directly to their other parents about their
concerns instead of refusing to spend time with them.

Of course, not all circumstances require you to encourage your kids to visit or move to their
other parents’ home. If your child’s possibilities aren’t safe at your ex-spouse’s, you can contact
the authorities or call your lawyer to prevent legal consequences that come with obstructing
visitation. If you need guidance with the matter, Jensen Family Law might be of help. Contact
them or gain more insight at https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/

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Our team of family law attorneys and divorce attorneys look forward to helping you when you need it most. With over two decades of aggressive divorce, child custody, child support, and divorce mediation representation we will not allow you to be taken advantage of. We believe in making a difference in the lives of our clients and their children.


Mesa, AZ – Office

Located in Mesa Arizona, on Val Vista and Southern Avenue. Our Family Law Attorneys and Divorce Lawyers in Mesa AZ have been helping our clients achieve the legal results they are searching for. Our Mesa Law Firm offers Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Mesa AZ
3740 E. Southern Ave Suite 210
Mesa, AZ 85206
(480) 999-2321
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/mesa

Chandler, AZ – Office

Located On Dobson Road, just North of W. Chandler Blvd, near the 101 Freeway. We have a team of the Best Divorce Lawyers and Family Law Attorneys in Chandler Arizona. Our Chandler Law Firm offers Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Chandler AZ
333 N. Dobson Rd #5
Chandler, AZ 85224
(480) 632-2083
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/chandler

Gilbert, AZ – Office

Located in South East Gilbert, Near Higley High School on Pecos Road, West of Power Road in the Power Ranch Neighborhood. Our Gilbert Law Firm offers Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Gilbert AZ
4365 E. Pecos Rd Suite 138
Gilbert, AZ 85295
(480) 900-2302
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/gilbert

Florence, AZ – Office

Located in the Community of Anthem in Florence Arizona, off of Hunt Hwy. Our Florence Law Firm is staffed with family law attorneys that offer Divorce Mediation, Uncontested Divorce, Contested Divorce, Legal Separation, Female Divorce Lawyers, Annulment, Child Support Issues, Child Custody, Military Divorce, Parenting Plans, Prenuptial Agreements, Postnuptial Agreements, Grandparents Rights, Paternity, Order of Protection, Name Change and all Family Law legal issues.

Jensen Family Law in Florence AZ
3281 N. Hunt Hwy Suite 111
Florence, AZ 85132
(480) 632-1120
https://www.familylawattorneymesaaz.net/florence




LET US REVIEW YOUR CASE

Jensen Family Law in Mesa is located on 3740 E Southern Ave Suite 210, 85206 Mesa, Arizona. From Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport (PHX), Take S 41st St to E Sky Harbor Blvd, then head west on E Sky Harbor Blvd and Use the left lane to take the exit toward S 41st St. Then Turn right onto S 41st St. After that, Continue straight to stay on S 41st St, then Take AZ-202 Loop E, AZ-101 Loop S and US-60 E to S Val Vista Dr in Mesa. Take exit 184 from US-60 E after that Merge onto E Sky Harbor Blvd, then Use the left 2 lanes to merge onto AZ-202 Loop E toward Tempe/Mesa and Use the right 3 lanes to take exit 9 to merge onto AZ-101 Loop S. After that, Use the right 2 lanes to take exit 55A-B to merge onto US-60 E toward Globe, then Take exit 184 for Val Vista Dr. Then Continue on S Val Vista Dr to your destination and Turn left onto S Val Vista Dr. Turn right onto E Southern Ave, then turn left and Destination will be on the right.

We’re open 9 AM – 5 PM Monday – Friday and we are closed on Saturday and Sunday.

For additional questions you can call us at (480) 999-2321 or you can find us on Yelp.