Tips For Sharing Child Custody After A Divorce

Raising children with an ex-spouse often needs some extreme patience. Most individuals co-
parenting with exes know that shared custody and the transition from one home to another
can be difficult for kids, and both parties have to get along. You don't have to be friends after a
divorce, but you’ll need to become a collaborative team to raise your kids for their
psychological and emotional development. However, this is easier said than done. You can
consult with a family law attorney at Mesa to help you create a co-parenting plan or share
legal advice on your case situation. This article will also provide you with insight into how co-
parenting can be made more accessible.

The Basics Of Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is a child-centered decision that involves parents who are not coupled to work
together to help their children thrive. To co-parent effectively, parents need to keep their
messy breakup aside and embrace a working co-parenting style that involves being nice to each
other despite the hatred they bear for each other and even being in places they may not want
to be. Basically, in a co-parenting relationship, you will need to love your kids more than you
hate your spouse and realize that they need both their parent's attention to thrive.

How To Be A Good Co-Parent

The first step towards a co-parenting relationship is to heal yourself. If you have not moved on
from the past, you will likely reflect the divorce’s hurt to your children. Even the most minor
decisions about your kid's lives may be hard to tackle when you’re still carrying grudges from
the divorce. It is advisable to self-reflect and discovers your role as a parent in the ended
relationship. It is easier to co-parent with intention when you've had closure and are happier.

What Happens When Your Child Won’t Go To Your Ex-Spouses House?

Co-parenting can be difficult, especially when a child takes sides. In some cases, children might
refuse to visit the other parent despite the custody orders. This could be related to several
reasons like:

• A parents failure to be actively involved with the child's life during their time together
• Anxiety about separation from the parent who majorly takes care of them
• Open conflicts usually caused a child to be temporarily aligned with one side.
• In cases of child abuse

No matter the reason, if your kid doesn’t want to move to be with their other parent, you need
to remember your job as a divorced parent, which involves supporting your child's relationship
with your ex. No matter the strenuous relation you have with your former partner, your
children have the right to love both parents. Your kid's failure to bond with one parent may
influence their capacity to grow healthy relationships with others. Therefore you shouldn't
encourage their refusal to spend time with your former spouse. You can, however, solve the
problem in the following ways:

1. Evaluate your child's resistance

For better understanding, you'll need to explore the reasons behind their resistance to go to
their other parent's place. Ask your child to list their reasons and analyze the reasons. For
instance, if your kid mentions that the other parent is too strict, try to find out what they mean
by "too strict" and encourage them to abide by your ex's house rules. You may also opt to
impose some of the rules for consistency purposes. If the reasons given by your child are
serious and concerning, you may opt to hold a discussion with your ex in a non-blaming manner
to keep the peace.

2. Talk To Your Ex

Before you can make conclusions, you can consult your ex to listen to their perspective to
discover what your kids may have conveniently omitted. Kids often manipulate parents to have
their way, and it is crucial to uncover the whole story and not only your kid's colorful version.

3. Look Into Your Behavior

Sometimes, as a parent, you may subconsciously bleed your negative feelings towards your ex
over into your children. Kids study behaviors and moods and sometimes feel the need to act
towards their happiness. Therefore, it is advisable not to showcase anxiety or hostile behavior
towards your ex in front of your kids. Instead, own your problems and encourage your kids to
spend time with their other parent.

4. Don't Force Them To Go

Knowing the importance of kids spending time with both of their parents, you need to find
innovative ways to help them accept co-parenting. Forcing them to comply with the legal
arrangements will only increase anxiety and cause more resistance. You can help them
understand how the set visitation schedule is good for them, rather than telling them that they
have no choice but to follow the custody order.

5. Empower Your Child

Your kids need to learn how to solve their problems with your ex without running to you. You
can encourage them and teach them ways to speak directly to their other parents about their
concerns instead of refusing to spend time with them.

Of course, not all circumstances require you to encourage your kids to visit or move to their
other parents' home. If your child’s possibilities aren’t safe at your ex-spouse's, you can contact
the authorities or call your lawyer to prevent legal consequences that come with obstructing
visitation. If you need guidance with the matter, Genesis Family Law and Divorce Lawyers might be of help. Contact
them or gain more insight at https://familylawattorneymesaaz.net/

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