For many couples children are the source of the greatest joy and happiness in their marriages. They can also be the source of the most pain. When a couple decides to divorce, children related matters such as custody, visitation and child support are often the most hotly contested issues in the divorce. The creation of children is the ultimate symbol of the love couples share for one another. However, can the failure to get on the same page regarding children before getting married increase the chances of a couple later getting a divorce, and this is no different with divorce in Mesa, AZ? Some family law attorneys and therapists think so.
In a recent Washington Post Article family law lawyers and therapists were asked how the failure to discuss the issue of children prior to marriage can impact the marriage. One family law attorney suggested that “talking about [whether or not to have children], at the very least, is a good idea before the rings are on.” As a family law attorney in Mesa, Arizona with more than a decade of experience, I have seen many couples struggle with this issue. One the problems that can arise when a couple does not see eye to eye on the issue of having children is that one spouse may resent the other for denying him or her something that is so important. On the other side of the coin, a spouse who is pressured into having a child or children may feel resentful toward his or her spouse this can be devastating to the marriage and the child.
There are many reasons some people do not want children. The financial commitment related to raising children is one of the biggest concerns. The cost of raising a child goes up every year. According to a recent U.S. Department of Agriculture report, a middle income family with a child born in 2011 will spend approximately $234,900 for food, shelter and other necessities to raise a child over 17 years. This amount will continue to rise.
The key to avoiding potential conflict on this issue is to communicate about the issue of children before marriage. Ramani Durvasula, a Los Angeles psychologist states that “being clear on parenting desires is crucial heading into marriage.” According to Dr. Durvasula, failure to discuss the issue of children prior to marriage “can actually be a backbreaking challenge for a relationship because of the high potential for ‘unfixable regret.’”
A successful marriage is the result of hard work, compromise and perhaps most of all good communication. Couples may increase their chances of living happily ever after by openly and honestly communicating about their desires regarding children before they ever say “I do.”
If you have questions about any Family Law Related issues in Mesa, AZ I invite you to contact my office:
The Law Offices of Kevin JensenFamily Law Attorney Mesa AZ
3740 E. Southern Ave.
Suite 210 Mesa, AZ 85206
Phone: (480) 999-2321